Zomg, it might have taken me a year to do, but I've finally passed my driving test! Yeah baby!

And can you believe it, I'm posting something two days in a row? Wow.

For some reason I can't comprehend why it's taken me so long to pass, I've counted (and verified) that I've only had 26 driving lessons, and yet a whole year to pass? I started September last year with 10 lessons with the crazy PAL lady, and then nothing happened after that. I did my theory in March and never begun a new set of lessons with Mr Wayne Strong until mid-June. It took another 6 weeks to organize the stupid practical test.

I'm telling you now, I was bricking it, haha. Two, myself included, of Mr Strong's students took tests today, so you can imagine my grief when I heard the other girl didn't pass earlier that morning. I was a nervous wreck - to the point where I almost forgot how to open the bonnet! haha. I forgot about the little catch thingy underneath for a moment.

Ah well, all done and dusted. And before Uni! So about time really.

Yah, I haven't posted anything since November last year, but who can blame me? I never forgot about LJ, in fact I've been visiting occasionally for quite some time, I just haven't updated.

On the note, I've got a hair appointment Friday which I must remind myself to go to. It's at 9am, so you can understand my dilema - that being I don't see sunlight anymore between drinking enormous amounts of alcohol (bad, BAD Sian) and sleeping the hangover off. So for me to be up, dressed, bright-eyed and in working order before 9am is a bit of a challenege.

I would reschedule, only they haven't a lot of free appointments for a Friday. And I desperately need my hair cut/trimmed. I'm in the process of growing it out, along with the blonde colour. I'm hoping to go au natural - and apply honey for 8 hours. Did you know honey contains small amounts of peroxide? Well it does, and if you leave it on long enough it will eventually lighten your hair.

Though I do need to do some more research into that.

Hopefully I'll be able to pick up some Coconut Oil and Bedhead's Manipulator putty stuff.

It seems Friday morning is turning out to be a very expensive couple of hours.

I finally understand what is at the core of my teenage angst. Every time I think I reach an answer, I discover that my thoughts and this "answer" are merely clues, pieces of a puzzle. It's a shame I've had to reach extraordinary heights of extreme self-destruction before understanding my own mind.

And I'm miserable for it.

People undermine my self-confidence - no, it's me who does that. I package up all the self-hate I have, wrap it up in shiny paper, decorate it and keep it as my own. I need it, otherwise I can't improve upon myself.

A few weeks ago, my mother called me fat.
Today, I'm a stone (14lbs) lighter. The fat comments have slowed, but still exist. I don't intend on stopping until the criticism does.

My mother, the one person I try so desperately to impress - the core of my problems. I don't care for what other people say. My mother's words are God, nothing comes before them. Nothing.

She's probably one of the main reasons as to why I've decided to go to University. Because it's the one thing I can do, to aim for, that nobody else in our family has ever done. She can criticize my degree/career choice, but she won't be able to compare me to others, mainly my brother and sisters, especially my older sister. I will have achieved something my older sister hasn't, and perhaps then I'd get recognized as an individual rather than the person who simply cannot perform to equal or better results than my sister.

I'd do anything to have one day where I'm not criticized for simply being me. I'd sell my soul. For perfection. I'd spend an eternity in hell, if only I could have a lifetime of happiness.

I'm only writing this down because I need a vent. Just somewhere to put these evil thoughts.

I've lost my phone... :(

I like to drive. Hella lot.

It's fun. I can't even reverse, but I love going forward so I'm not really encountering any problems. But I will be bummed when I start reverse parking, haha.

Emma, my instructor, is soo sweet. She puts up with me and my love for speed. Not to mention my obsession with the clutch and lazy braking. But I haven't crashed or stalled yet, so booyah!

Today has been boring. I had three lessons in total. I missed the first due to lack of communication between myself and the teachers - mainly Ms Morgan. She's terrible. I had no idea out first and second lessons had switched, so therefore missed first lesson. Yah!

Secondly, psychology has been a bit of a hit and miss. We go enter the classroom, and leave 2 minutes later. I only went up to receive a sheet. haha. And the teacher isn't here tomorrow for our lesson.

Third lesson teacher was absent. Gosh.

No offense, teachers go on and on about MY attendance but fail to notice their's, or lack of. Ms Morgan also started asking me today where I'd like to do Criminology...Uni-wise. Hm. I don't know where along the lines Business Studies turned to Criminology, but before you start handing out advice, make sure you're correct. Stupid woman, stressing me out.

I want to go and drive now :)

The tide has turned. Nothing bad has happened to me since becoming 17. I'm rather quite excited at the prospect of a glorious year, or at least one that doesn't involve assault, or worse, death. I'll keep my fingers and toes crosses and pray I haven't jinxed myself now.

However, bad luck seems to be following everyone else. Which gets me down.

Lucy almost got arrested, for a window she did not smash. And her boyfriend decided to start a fight in a club somewhere. I suppose God, or the great One, must be on her side because thankfully her parents are away.

And Amy is having some pretty shite family problems, ones I can relate too. Considering this is an important and sensitive matter, I won't indulge anybody in any details. It simply isn't my place, or story to tell. But take it from me, it really can't be any more upsetting.

Back to school eh? I'm hating it already. I'm a teenager, with a chip on her shoulder, and I can reach a point of self-loathing. Hate for school is a good vent for releasing built up anger.

I don't sound very optimistic. But I am. Honestly.

Yeah, haven't updated in a while, however I am now. So :P

No excuse.

I've been struggling to find some brain entertainment for the past hour, and failed - with miserable and boring consequences. It's my first day off in what feels like forever, and I'm stuck inside, doing absolutely nothing of great worth, bored shitless.

And somebody is playing some very cool music in our street. Holy shit, AC/DC? Iwanttofuckthisperson. All night long ;)

(For people who don't get the joke - AC/DC's song, "You Shook Me All Night Long". Download it. Legally or otherwise.)

I drew le chat on the back of my bank statement. Kitty is soo cute, I'll have to scan it. On the other side (oops) I wrote down my secret fudge recipe. Fudge that's currently sitting in gloop form on our kitchen's surfaces. It'll set soon, and I'll get fatter. Yummy.

Uhuh.

Dentist said on Wednesday that I should stop drinking tea. The problem with this already is that I don't drink tea anyway. So Dentist said (we'll call him Dentist 'cause I'm unable to remember his name) that I should stop consuming gallons of Orange Juice. Which sounds just about right. I drink the stuff like oranges are suddenly going to stop growing and the entire World will plummet into a life of Apple, or Cranberry Juice. Or any other type of juicy fruit that tastes great with spoonfuls of sugar. I wouldn't survive quite frankly.

My birthday is happening soon, I should feel excited. But one year on, and gaining years and pounds isn't that fun. But a bouncy castle and a BBQ in our back garden should be :)

Yes, Daddy promised a bouncy castle. haha. I wanted one, and a giant trampoline, but it was either one or the other.

So here I am, worrying about bouncy castles and orange juice, whilst there are terrorists on the loose in Britain's airports. I would be afraid, but I'm too relaxed, and chilled to be bothered by it. Besides, I almost got blown up by a nailbomb in Cairo, Egypt, last year (and boy was that a great year). Am I bovvered?

And to end this looooong post of bullshit, because really that's all it is, nothing of importance or significance, I would like to believe my streak of bad luck could soon end. It's almost been an entire year since all the crap started, hell even Mystic Meg couldn't have predicted such gloom and doom, therefore I'm optimistic.

Year 16 was shite. Year 17? Hopefully better. I'll think good thoughts.

There's a spider in my room, and it's been stalking across the ceiling towards me and is now sitting directly over where my chair was before I just moved it a second ago *twitch* if it remains on my ceiling, who knows what could happen?
What if it stalks over onto my head?
Or.
WHILST I AM ASLEEP IT CREEPS INTO MY MOUTH.

Ahah. Well, hopefully not, I sleep with my mouth closed.

And now my eyes sting because I've randomly become very tired .

I'm getting lazy.
haha.

Blame the weather.

I dislike my mother. A lot. With passion. End of. No if's, or but's.

I'd go to University just to get away.

And I brushed my teeth with baking soda today. Lush.